I offically hate ice skating.
Our school went ice skating today and I must say, if I ever felt like a loser, it's now. My good, good friend, (we shall call him "Mac") has been crushing my heart since October and there's nothing I can do about it. However, he likes my friend, "Cho Chang" and she's like...you know, not me, making her therefore perfect. I did not ice skate, because sliding on my ass is not something I want to do.
Mac fractured his knee, but he wanted to continue to skate, but when I told him, "No, sit down," he yelled at me, "No! I can do what I want!" and when Cho Chang told him the exact same thing, he became gentle and said okay. Asshat.
So far, my only therapy has been crying to "A Case of You" three times.
On the plus side, they had an arcade at the ice rink and there were these little rubber pencil toppers in the shapes of animals. I got a penguin, a pig, a cow, an elephant, and a monkey!
Mr. Penguin is a depressed accountant who comtemplates suicide when he sends out tax audits.
Mr. Pig is a lawyer. (There is so, so much psychology in this one.) He swindles money from Mr. Penguin until, in an act of anger, Mr. Penguin throws him off a magic cliff made from jelly beans. However, Mr. Pig is still alive, smelling like jolly ranchers.
Cow is a feminist. She believes that getting milk from a cow's udders is considered innapropriate touching.
Mr. Elephant is a kind old pacaderm who believes that there is goodness in everyone. He went to a lot of hard rock concerts as a teenager, and seeing Ozzy Osbourne eat a live bat's head has scared him so badly, he decided to work with people who have been frightened by concerts.
Mr. Monkey is an alcoholic. Need I say more?
On the minus side, I got an extra elephant and gave it to Mac, who gave it to Cho Chang (who said thanks and walked away).
I can't help but feel this will be another wonderful case of Murphy's Law. Everything is pretty much screwed right now, so why not add something even more midly stupid in my life?
